Saturday, December 31, 2005

Bah, yes the Sock God has spoken

Having not been in classes this past semester, I was bored most of the time and very unhappy at my job, but now being registered for full-time classes next semester, I am beginning to worry that I am not going to have what it takes for school, but of course this is all nervous apprehension.

Oh yeah, yes you heard me right up there, I am now registered for Spring courses. As Linus said I had to put my mom into a head lock and punch her in the ear until she filled out the FAFSA. That and I threatened to not come and see her unless she did, yes I resorted to blackmail, and actually no I don't feel all that bad about it. Now I am just worried that for some reason financial aid won't go through and I will have to drop all of my classes.
Right now I am registered for 15 credit hours:
ENGL 1010
HIST 1211 U.S. to 1865
THEA 1000 Into to Theater
THEA 1100 Beginning Acting
WMST 4500 Queer Theory ( Tessa you are going to be my saving grace in this right? right!?)

Yet again, it is that time of year to remember and try to memorialize the past year. I am not sure if I really want to. Don't get me wrong the past year has been great, I have grown more into who I am, becoming my own person and able to stand up to my parents to an extent. Except that when my dad quit his job back in the middle of Nov. I don't have the guts to tell him to grow up and take responsibility for himself instead I pay for dinner when we go out. I still cower under the pressure of my mom. I have made some new great friends, finally decided that I am going to declare as a theater major emphasis in lighting and a minor in creative writing. I Spent six months listening to New Yorkers yell about cable, and could probably reboot any cable box to try and stop it from freezing. Learned to live with 5 other people in one house. But what have I really learned? I can't say for sure because it is lying within the depths of my heart, but I have learned to love, if anything else love. So into the next year I will take with me love, of myself and you all. I will take the knowledge that great things can come from the smallest actions and the memories I have shared with everyone.

Have a safe New Year's eve, and if I don't talk to you until next year have a great beginning of the year.
Love always,

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
and call me on and on across the universe.
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box,
They stumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.
Jai guru deva om.

Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world,
(Across The Universe by, Rufus Wainwright)

Thursday, December 01, 2005

"Thank you for calling Time Warner Cable."

"My name is Brittany, I do apologize but my system is currently down. If you have any general or basic questions I'd be more than happy to address those, but if not I would advise you to call back with in 15-20 minutes."

Sitting at work, the system has crashed again and not just mine most of the center's has. So the call queue(sp?) is low and I am bored out of my mind. There are probably many other things I should be doing like learning how to bundle Aol and RoadRunner together, or writing poetry for the next slam on Dec. 9th, but instead I am writing on here.

Weekends tend to blur together with little sleep and overloading on socialization. The last slam on Nov. 18th went well, met new friends and took second over all. The night was filled with nervous tension, from competeing in the slam to falling head over heals on a crush that would be leaving in 3 days. Drunk wrestling leaves the body sore and bruised in really random places, then of course there is the photo graphic evidence of said wrestling that is embarassing as well.

Thanksgiving weekend was a nice relaxing break. I had Flock Hall all to myself for about 4 days, I spent Turkey dinner with my friend Jes and her family, stuffing ourselves with turkey, sweet potatoes, homemade bread, and too much video gaming. I have since become addicted to The L Word and am trying to make it through season 2 now with Jes before the premier of season 3 on Jan. 8th. Saturday night I found myself in a formal dress, high heels, makeup, and my hair curled(all by myself I might add, you would have been proud of my hair Gina) for Phantom of the Opera in Denver. The show was absoultly amazing, from the costumes to the performance, to the stage work, lighting, pyro-technics, and ahh just the theater! We spent the night in Denver and Sunday ended up spending the night down there again eventhough we could have made it home Sunday night we didn't want to take the risk. Sunday night we saw Rent with was really good and I ended up crying basically the last half of the movie.

Its official I am going to see "Wicked" orchestra sitting row F middle in Chicago, in January. That is how I am thinking of the trip that I am going to visit my mom in January, it is not really to visit or see her, it is to see "Wicked". My mom bought me tickets(train tickets) to go see her the 2nd-9th, should be great fun. Aidan, my step-father is currently trying to start a real estate business or something like that, and my mom is making candles for a living, along with trying to catch Aidan cheating on her with his secretary or so she says. But I'll be defiying gravity.
"It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!"

Today is World Aids Day. Today Laramie has what is called Dine out For Life day. Where restaurants in town donate a portion of their proceeds to help Wyoming residents living with HIV/AIDS and their families. These proceeds along with funds raised from the WyoAids walk in April help pay for medical needs for these families. I am sure that Dine Out For Life is not only happening here, so I urge you to get out today, find a restaurant that is donating some of their proceeds and treat yourself to a wonderful dinner, for a good cause! If you can't go out and eat then take a moment for those living with HIV/AIDS and maybe just take a moment of silence, get tested, educate yourself or friends, or take action and get involved with a group in your area dedicated to helping those living with HIV/AIDS.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Rubrics For Life:

Late nights lead to.....even more late nights....and even longer days.

"God, there is only seven weeks left."
I didn't mean to looked pissed off, sad that the group..I...we have to deal with another departing of tea, folk, and....learning to live life.

Was it just me or did you hold your gaze just a moment longer so we could lock eyes? Probably just me as usual.
"She only drinks coffe at midnight, When the moment is not right Her timing is quite, unusual"

"That's great mom, instead of paying for my schooling you'll send me a present to make up for it," I say as I pick up the box that came in the mail for me. It is better than that though; they are in fact mess ups of the candle business she is now in, so not only is it a present to make up for not paying for schooling it is a broken present. A broken present to go with the vile guilt you gave to eat away at me.

Now remember what we learned last week, class, what is the one thing you do not say during the awkward moment of the evening when you are suppose to lean in and kiss her?
Doo Dee Doo Waffels

Monday, October 24, 2005

"We will kick them in the shins then they will have to give you money."

"Either that or they will throw us in jail." Great

Friday's are still days to be on campus but now the purpose for being on campus on Fridays are a bit different for the past two weeks I have been battling the great fortress known as financial aid. Ok, so it really has been longer than that, but the search for money has been kicked into high gear recently. At the beginning of the semester I went to talk to the student attorney in Knight Hall, no real luck there except we found out that there are in fact exceptions to the rule only to be granted by the Dean of Financial Aid at the school. So I gather up my tax return from this year that clearly states I file as an independent, and my parents don't claim me, think that would be enough? Nope, Financial Aid tells me that first of all they only file probably 4 appeals for independent status a year, and secondly I have to be in an extenuating circumstance; such as proving with documentation physical or mental abuse, or basically the parents have to be in jail. Next step: look into emancipation, I fully qualify for it and the easiest way to get that done would be to ask both of parents just to sign the forms basically..... Right....asking my mom for emancipation this one is going to be easy, she had an emotional breakdown over the phone, and asked me why I hated her, didn't love her, and why I was trying to destroy the family. I didn't know how to respond, and I don't have the heart to hang up on her so when she was done I said goodbye and haven't brought it up since. But that is ok I found later that night by doing some research emancipation does not guarantee independent status anyways.

"For example, a child does not automatically become a ward of the court upon being incarcerated. Likewise, emancipation does not make a student a ward of the court. Neither incarceration nor emancipation of the student is sufficient on its own to make the student independent.

Emancipation occurs when the child is no longer under the legal authority and control of another. This can occur when the child reaches the age of majority, marries, enters military service, is fully self-supporting or by court order. An emancipated child is legally an adult. Since a child who reaches the age of majority can still be considered a dependent for financial aid purposes (and self-supporting is insufficient grounds for independent student status ever since the Bright-Line test was abolished in 1992), emancipation by court order is no different. The Higher Education Act specifies who is considered a dependent for financial aid purposes, and does not include an exception for emancipation. (Emancipation is defined by state law, and as such cannot overrule Federal law.) So even though an emancipated child no longer receives financial support from his or her parents, the parents are still obligated to complete the FAFSA form. However, the circumstances that lead a court to grant an emancipation petition might themselves be sufficient grounds for a dependency override. (Note that some states (e.g., Colorado) may allow emancipation as an alternative to age requirements for eligibility for in-state tuition. So emancipation can have an impact on state aid, but not on federal aid.)"

So I am kinda stuck at square one, I just need to find someone to marry, have a kid, or join the military. None of those options are overly appealing though. Maybe I will follow Tessa's advice find scholarships for culinary school and do what I want to do. I am getting pressure from my dad now to get back into school, but what is he doing to help? Not much, besides thinking of quitting Shari's and moving to New Mexico.

Never mind that though on to happier things. It is true fall has official come to stay; at least until the snow comes to stay. There is something so old and wonderful when walking home at night through dead lives. The smell of damp old earth and the sweet crispness of the leaves lead you to believe on silent nights that the fairies are still out being mischievous.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Punk Rock, Disco, and Brechtian Punk Cabaret...

Will leave me brusied, exhausted, and happy. I have gotten roughly 9 hours of sleep since Sunday morning from a late night of too much coffee, but excellent conversation. I only slept an hour and went to work at 8 o'clock in the morning on Monday. Monday night the Fat Wreck Chords tour came through, yes, Laramie, WY!! w00t! The show had an amazing lineup - Smoke or Fire, The Epoxies, The Soviettes, and Against Me! I currently have a bruise under my left eye, my shins are black and blue, but being able to say I lost my glasses in the mosh pit, found them and did not break them makes up for it by quite a bit. Punk Rock is not necessarily about the music, not understanding half of the words, its about the scene, trying to give a damn without really giving a damn, about being able to connect with everyone at the concert on some higher plane for the duration of the show. It is about collective feeling.

Last night was an extreme change from Punk to 70's disco on roller skates. My knee is about twice its normal size because Squids really shouldn't be on rolly thingies, and it doesn't help when your friends find the ticklish spot. Instead of going to bed, like any normal person, afterward, we ate food at 2:00 in the morning, I stayed up and tried to watch a movie. Haven't had the opportunity to shut off my brain, and so I numb it with sensless entertainment.

And tonight was suppose to be another concert this time in Boulder. The Dresden Dolls are playing a show and if you have never heard of the you should definitely go check them out. But it seems that since I won't sleep with one of the people going, I make him uncomfortable. Even though we decided to be friends and were completely cool last time I saw him. Oh, well I should really use the time to sleep, but who needs it when so much caffine abounds and I can sleep when I am dead.

Poetry Slam this weekend, possibly another night of Static, and of course work (why did I decide to pick up OT this weekend when I am already exhausted?) Because I am the crazy person, it must be true. I even have a t-shirt that says it "Hooray that crazy person is here."

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

What Can I Say I Have No Excuse.

I could go on to say as Linus suggested that I am a punkass and this will never happen again, but in all honesty it probably will, sorry guys.

One exciting thing that has happend recently is that my hair is no longer a natural color, yipee!! Saturday of Labor Day weekend, 5 of us pilled in Linus' car with four bottles of hair dye, a bleach kit, and hungry stomachs for Thai food. Linus, Mark, Tessa, Gina, and myself met Rachel and her sister, Anne, at the Thai Pepper for some much needed ethnic food. From there we wondered around 3 blocks of Ft. Collins and then took off to Rachel's house in Loveland for yet another grand hair dying adventure. While at dinner I had still not decided on how exactly I was going to dye my hair so Linus said," Fuck it, we are just going to blind fold you and you'll have deal with what we do to your hair." Everyone else liked the idea and well I don't care really so long as it has some color to it. They even had a secret meeting and this is what came from it enjoy :)

I have been trying to adjust and tell myself that it is really ok that I am not taking classes this semester. I am getting into the rythm of getting up every morning at 6:30 and am learning to talk back to angry New Yorkers, who call me yelling "Why is my cable turned off?!!" I figure at the rate I am making money I should be able to save enough by December to go back to school in the spring although, I might just work for an entire year so I have enough money saved to go to school for a complete year.

Fridays are my days to pretend that I am still a student on campus. I spend part of the mornings in the RRC, and let me tell you it is just not the same without Abra and Christin being there, no donughts for diversity, but it is someplace familar to go. I take my backpack with only my notebook and whatever novel I am reading for the week to the 3rd and 4th floors of Coe Library, somehow feeling like I am in enemy terriotry or that I am a traitor. I browse the shelves, pulling books from random and taking them to a desk and try to learn from them what I can in 2hrs or so. I haven't absorbed much in the two Fridays so far. Lunch is usually spent with who ever I happen upon in the Union which can somedays be a lot of people, and my afternoons are usually spent in whatever computer lab Tessa is working in for a while. I do however have an appointment with the student attorney on Friday to discuss my issue with financial aid, see if there is absolutly anyway around the stupid dependent rules because I have come to the conclusion that I cannot be the only person in this predicament.

At first I think no one is home and then I see you walking to answer the door, eyes glazed and groggy with sleep, hair touseld from the nap I just woke you from. You open the door, smile at me, my heart catches in my throat, at least that is what I think it is because for the moment I feel I can't breathe and the rushing of the blood in my ears is almost to loud to hear over. You ask me what is up. And for a second I forget what I came for... ... oh yeah, your heart.

I have found some new friends that I have been hanging out with a lot more. Not that I don't love the friends I have now, but is nice to have time with other friends since most of us live in the same house now, Flock Hall. We shall calll my new found friends "The Sarah's" because well, that is what we call them. There are two Sarah's and they live in the same house and usually have people over at their house, there is always something going on. Thursdays have become supper nights with them and all of our friends. I am still the youngest of that group but they are all closer to my age so it is not to bad ;) We hang out listen to hippie music like Phish and Modest Mouse, and discuss philosophy sometimes over the occasional bottle of whiskey shared between about 7 of us or some hope.

For now life goes on pretty much as it always has, one day at a time with time always trying to steal the day away, but it is the sunsets and crisp air of autumn that is around the corner in the mornings that are semi-grey on my way to work that are making it. It is the smiles and sincere words from friends that come unexpected that steal my day back away from time for a while.

"Yes sir, the cable box has to be plugged in....yes, to an electrical outlet...and the power turned on in order for you to watch the tennis match sir if it just ejected something, that would be your I don't know where they would have installed your cable box."

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


Main Entry: 1friend
Pronunciation: 'frend
Function: noun
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion
- be friends with : to have a friendship or friendly relationship with
- make friends with : to establish a friendship or friendly relations with

* from Merriam-Webster Online

And a 6 letter word that breaks my heart every time.

Any time I try to tell some one I like them more just a friend and would like to see the relationship evolve into something more this is the response I usually get: "I think we should just be friends." "I like you too much as a friend." "You're kinda like a little sister to me.", or the fun "You're one of the guys Brittany I couldn't date you, it would just be weird." Hey, just what I need another friend, right? Maybe I should look at the fact that maybe they do just need a friend to hang out with, that I should take good friends as a compliment. There will be others as everyone says, my one is still out there somewhere, I guess. But it still doesn't make the hurt any less, or make me feel that I will always only be a friend and am not worthy of anything more....but being a friend is better than nothing, right? Friendship has it's perks, and maybe they can introduce me to one of there friends and who knows they might turn out to be more than a friend.

So that's it for now, just friends, you and me, I guess.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Can it be true summer is already half way gone?

Punk rock shows...Christian music festivals...Open container days...random house parties. This what my weeks have been filled with for the most part so far. Along with working my ass off at two jobs, but not anymore :D!!!!!

About a week and a half ago I was hired at StarTek, which means after training I will working full-time and benefited, doubly w00t! Last night I also walked into the Overland and basically told them to go to shove there heads up something that wasn't there own ass...ok, maybe not really, but I did quit. I got sick of none of the other dishwashers doing their job, getting semi-accused of stealing random shit ( why would I take the egg slicer?), but the thing that pushed me over the edge was being accused of underaged drinking in the kitchen with everyone else when in fact I wasn't drinking at all that night. The other undergaed person who was drinking and myself were told we had to right a letter of apology to the owner for our behavior explaining our actions, and saying sorry...because he treats us well and pays us good (bullshit...oh did I say that?) so I walked in last night an hour before my shift and told them I wasn't working that night or ever again.

I now live with 5 other roomates...and I serioudly need to build a loft one of these days. Even though I live with them it feels like I hardly spend time with or see them any more because we are always around each other but we don't "hang out" like we use to. That's ok though momst of us are still trying to fit into a routine of somekind. This past weekend was spent in South Dakota at a two day music festival, I could bore you all with detials, but I'll just say I was at the front on the gate for Jars of Clay which made my month!

In less than a month I am goin to be in another wedding.., crap can it really be that soon? I should probably try on the dress tonight to make sure it fits. I am really more excited for after the wedding becuase then I will be able to dye my hair with the dye I bought close to a month ago or over, and maybe even punch more holes into me as well.

"guess there's something wrong with me
guess i don't fit in
no one wants to touch it
no one knows where to begin
i've got more than one membership
to more than one club
and i owe my life
to the people that i love
some days the line i walk
turns out to be straight
other days the line tends to
i've got no criteria for sex or race
i just want to hear your voice
i just want to see your face" ~Ani DiFranco, In or Out

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Go West Young Nerd

We salute our Locutus of Blog, Abra, as she joins the ranks of the graduated and begins her life in Seattle. We send her off with open hearts and our warmest of wishes. Take luck and enjoy your adventures, NerdyGirl, but remember we are only a blog post away.

I will miss our beloved NerdyGirl along with everyone else here I am sure. Don't drown out there in the rain, and as a good friend once told me, never lose your makes you who you are. I love you very much and will miss you dearly, keep us updated on your new adventures out west.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Game That Everyone s Playing.

Here are The Official Interview Game Rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Questions from Linus:
If not a squid, then what? Hmmm, if not a squid...then I think I would have to go with either a squirrel because well they are kinda crazy too, and in some weird way adorably cute at least in my world; either that or maybe changing completely and going to bobcat or p-homie.

2) It's time for you to get a tattoo. Choose only one of the following, and explain your choice.
a) Wookie wearing a spidergag
b) Ewok in asschaps
c) A nude of Benji Madden with a nail through his penis
Wow, this is a difficult one, I do believe I have to go with the Ewok in ass chaps for a couple of reasons. One is Ewoks are much cuter than Wookies and there ain't no way in hell anything to do with Good Charlotte will ever be on my body. An Ewok in asschaps will be much less scarring and can be explained more easily than a wookie with a spider-gag, I would have nightmares for the rest of my life if that was on my body, and secretly I always wanted an Ewok as a pet as a little kid.

3) The Pope outlaws Punk. What do you do?
DAMN THE MAN!!!! First I would denounce anything to do with Catholicism, go shave my head into a mohawk and dye it, probably pierce lots of things and get a couple tattoos. Next I would devote my time to creating a time machine and travel back to the height of punk at its best in the 70's and early 80's. I would slowly but surely create a large follow of punks and then go to Italy stake out the Vatican and when the changing of the guards is in motion attack silently and swiftly (yes we have had plenty of training to take out the Swiss Guards, we have been training for at least months if not years). We as a group of Punks over throw the Vatican as a high power and institute the new idea of free thought and expression. yeah! Damn The Man!

4) You want fried rice for breakfast, but have neither rice nor soy sauce. Explain how you make it anyway. mmmmm fried rice....crap what do you mean no rice or soy sauce!!! This defiantlytly a plot to keep the squid at bay or at least grumpy because breakfast with out fried rice is to sad to go on. After a small minor break down for the crisis of the problem I look around the kitchen and find in the back of my cupboard I have orzo, now comes the tricky part I think I would have to make a mixture of balsamic vinegar, a touch of seasme seeds (for good luck) and throw in some salt. Fry that up together and throw on some allspice (because according to my mom it fixes anything) and top it with diced ginger and hope for the best and that I don't get food poisoning.

5) Due to radiation, animals gain intelligence equal to humans and the ability to speak. What animal do you want to speak to most?
I have to pick just one huh? I would almost want to talk squirrelslls because you know they see a lot just hanging around town all day. See how fun it would be to besquirrelell and all that fun stuff that way you can build up good relations with them and maybe if I talked to them nice enough I can get THE 'rang back that I am sure they are still worshipping over in the soccer practice fields, and then maybe even use them and a message service and possibly spy capabilities. Oh yeah! tsquirrelslls are my friends!!

In the past week there has been many trips made to Ft. Collins, well, at least for me. Last Friday the flock gathered and we decided all the food sucked in Laramie and road tripped down to Ft. Collins for buffet pizza at Woody's which was fantabulous. For much more detailed account you should go check out Ryan at The Leash. After dinner we decided to go check out a tattoo and parlor shop mainly for hair dye for me, but once we got their Linus and I were both josning to punch more holes into our bodies but resisted to. Mainly it was because that I had no money that I really could spend and I wasn't sure what I wanted to pierce(no it had nothing to do with Tessa not approving because the one thing she would disapprove of would be something I would never get pierced anyways) and so by tpersuasionion of Abra and Mandy and the other factors I walked away with just the hair dye. I ended up getting Atomic Pink and Fishbowl Blue by Special Effects and want to something close to this:

Hair dye option 1

With both pictures the green would be pink and the blue a more turquoiseise, but this still wouldn't be until after the wedding I am in in August so it will be a while for me to decide. Speaking of the wedding that I am going to be in Tessa and I and the other bridesmaid went down to Ft. Collins yesterday and bought the dresses, and here is a picture for all of you who I tried to describe it to last night and did a horrible job. The dress. And hopefully tonight I will be going back and eating tasty Ethiopian food, granted I have never had it and have no clue really if it is tasty or not, oh well.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Bits and Pieces

Where You Don't Belong
You lay
On my kitchen floor
With no shirt on
Your fevered cheek
Resting for a moment
Against the cool
It was white
With squares
The same deep brown
As your eyes
And I knew
That no matter
What I did
I could never lift you
Up off that floor
So I turned the house
Upside down
And you fell onto the ceiling
Where you belong

"Get saved now, ask me how!",
her bumper sticker exclaimed as we waited
at a busy intersection for the light to change.
"...Ask ME how!"
And I considered hopping out and
following her suggestion and wondered how she would react upon
seeing me tapping insistently on her tightly locked car door,
the traffic whizzing by,
her shopping bags lying on the backseat.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Fried Rice For Breakfast

You know in about anywhere from 6th grade to 9th(ours was in 9th grade) the project you had to do for the class about "How to" and giving directions and what not? Most kids, in my class anyways, did things along the lines of how to tack a horse, how to shoot an arrow, how to golf, how to sew, how to pray; yes that last one was actually a presentation but the girl got about 5 lines into her showing and the teacher put a stop to it, man did that cause an uproar from parents. My presentation in my infinte genius was "How To Make Fried Rice" I had to do almost all of the prep work at home because we couldn't bring knives to school even for a presentation such as this, so I took them through step by step: first you will want to dice all of your veggies in about this size(showing them the green peppers and onions I had cut up), Scramble the eggs, which I had also done at home as well to save time in the class because we had a 15 minute time limit. After we had gone through all the prep work I heated up the electric skillet that I had borrowed, drizzled in about 1/2 a tablespoon of oil for mosture in the rice, adidng the rice with the soy sauce, smells flooding the class room, garlic and onions sauting. After everything was done cooking I served up a bowl for everyone in the room and told them the history behind fried rice itself, that it was actually a breakfast food in most oriental countries especially Japan, you take all of the left overs basically and fry them up together with rice and you have breakfast.

As I took the leftovers from last night's Chinese expedition and fried them up the smells flooding the Travis's small kicthen, this memory came violently back to me. Especially at break during school when I handed the electric skillet back over to Kathleen and told her that I had gotten an A on the project, she smiled at me and said "I am so proud of you." No big deal meant out of it, but to me that meant the world those simple words from her. I had forgotten how deeply shaken smells, with memories attached to them can rock you, until this morning.


Monday, June 06, 2005

Re-learning to Breathe

Is One of the Hardest Things

Well it is official, we knew before that my new roomates were even girly than Mandy, but when I walk into the house with the stereo on shuffle with Lizzie Migurie, Aaron Carter, and the Spice Girls, something is very very very wrong. Lets just say that I am very happy that I will be moving out in a little less than two where you might ask? That too has not been decided yet. I have a funny feeling that most of my stuff that is not in storage will actually not be broken into, maybe I'll just make another run out to storage and throw that stuff in there as well...that way even less of my stuff will have to come in contact with the girlyness and therefore less chance of infection of said girlyness.

My job at the Overland has been interesting...I was hired as a cook, started as a host and am now damned to the dish-pit for the rest of enternity. Normally I would not be complaining about this, happy space where no one bothers you and you really don't have to deal with the costumers. It is not so happy when I can't listen to music(well only if I bring my own disc-man and it really sucks), and I am only getting 5.50 an hour to do it. There are multiple other dish-washing jobs at there where I can start out at 6.50 or even 7 an hour. Currently though I am looking at taking a job with StarTek because I will make sem-decent money and recieve some benifits as well. We will see though if the Overland ends up working out or not.

Now I am off to save the world with caffine and Skittles! Oh Yeah!! A Couple of weekends ago some of the flock discovered a Jazz Club I think we should all go sometime get all fancied up and scare every one of it would be fun! Ok really leaving now.

That is about all that is going on, on the Squid front and in an effort to blend in with the rest of the flock I will end this post with some happy pictures. From the Graduation Party!!! Enjoy all and I promise pictures of Oklahoma are soon to come!

YAY! For hugs!

And over there we have the indeginous SCA person actually out in public, what a rare find indeed!

HA see there is photgraphic evidence that she can dance! :P

And Clay is terrified of the dancing girls.

Yay the flock in its entirty excluding Tessa and Gina because they had to leave early :(

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I'mmm Backk!

Since I haven't posted in a while I figure I will update you guys a little bit and then do a big post with pictures from the trip and what not. I am back safe and sound (for the most part) from my trip to Oklahoma City (OKC). I came back with just a few blisters and sleep deprivation. I am in the process of trying to find inspiration or something like that to pack my apartment and move. I am not looking forward to it because really it will basically be like crashing at some random place for two months. I also started my new job a couple days ago, instead of cooking or diashwashing for the summer I will be hosting (grrrrr) yes I hate dealing with people, besides they hired me for kitchen staff, but noo, I'll be working the front of house.

While on trips I tend to forget about everything else I have to deal with, which I consider to be pretty normal, but coming back I realized I had missed all of my freinds leaving. On one hand I was kinda happy about this because I suck at the whole leaving/ moving on thing, but at the same time I was really sad beucase that is not something you can really duplicate or anything. Walking up the stairs to my aparment there is a landing on the second floor where everyone dumps their stuff they no longer want or need, this time of year it is packed with crap becuase of everyone moving out. It wasn't the couch or old matress, or even hot pink underwear that caught my eye, but some old Ginger beer bottles that caused my heart to ache a little for I knew those belonged to Ben, and he had moved out. It hurt not beucase I thought I never would see him again because I knew I would and I will, but knowing that I can no longer walk down the hall, around the corner, late in the evening to share grapefruit soda, or left over Chinese with a freind. I also missed Christin and Rahcel leaving, but knowing they will be back as well is a little comfort. So this week I have been laying low for the most part trying to get things done but that never works I always find a way to procrastinate, speaking of which I am off to go through my life again, throw stuff away, and pack it into totes and into a storage shed for the summer. Pictures to come along with more exciting news (well maybe not exciting).

"In the rain, in the rain, people rush around on cold streets
Here's a shell to hear their heartbeats very loud, very loud
Where's the pain, it's only rain, it's only slowing down a workday
Only singing happy birthday to a crowd, very loud

So turn on the sky, let it hear what you're saying
For all that you are sayingAnd let it take you apart, to the elements of praying
Till we are only playing to the firmament
Till we are only playing to the firmament" ~Dar Williams

Monday, May 02, 2005

We must never, ever be boring.

So in my theater class we read Angels in America, which is a very good play and I recommend it to all of you who have never read it. But anyways we only had to read the first part and post our thoughts on our discussion group FOR THE FIRST PART. Well, I was reading through them and besides being pissed off half of the time for ignorant comments, the spelling errors and grammatical errors, and the plain just not being able to understand what they are trying to say half of the time got to me. ( Yeah I know it sounds like on of my blog-posts, oh well) Well, I came across one that went a little like this

"I didn't really understand what the angels was trying to say or what kind of a book it was that she was giving Prior. I understood that the story goes, God got bored of the Angels and left to be with human kind. Or at least turned his attention to them. This immediately made me think of Jesus Christ because many people believe that that is why God chose to send him son at the time he did. I have heard stories of God getting bored with heaven and that's why he chose that time. It also makes sense becuase it says in the bible, In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, but nobody takes time to notice that it also says God did this because he was lonely. Interesting that the book would pick up on this idea. It really struck a chord with me, that those who believe must not ignore the fact that God is known to get bored. HOpefully he doesn't get bored with us anytime soon."

Which is all from the second part of the play, and doesn't make any sense. I was reading this to Raksha and she said I should respond with this quote from Chuck Palahniuk,

"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. " - Chuck Palahniuk, "Invisible Monsters" I found it highly amusing and well did not have the guts to post it on the thread.
One final down, I BSed my way through 5 pages of an essay final in an hour and a half we'll see how that does me. After that I went to go sell back my books and they only took 2 of the five for the class and gave me $3.50 for it, it would almost been better to just keep the damn books, oh well. My other final is tomorrow and much happier, multiple choice and only 75 questions. Then off to watch Tessa read for her final and do laundry, clean my apartment before family gets here, pack half my stuff, and see practically all of my friends graduate in less than a week. Then it is off to Oklahoma City for a week where I will be building a house for Habitat for Humanity. Come back hopefully move into a new place, and start my new job cooking with my dad.
(was going to have cool photos here but it is not working because it hates me.)

Have a good week, and hopefully we'll see each other's smiling faces on the other side of this week.

"up up up up up up
points the spire of the steeple
but god's work isn't done by god
it's done by people" ~ Ani Difranco

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Thoughts from the lab.

The space between
The tears we cry is the laughter that
keeps us coming back for more
The space between
The wicked lies we tell to keep us safe
from the pain

Will I hold you again

These fickle fuddled words confuse me
Like will it rain today
We waste the hours with talking talking
These twisted games we’re playing

We’re strange allies
With warring hearts
What a wild eyed beast you be
The space between
The wicked lies we tell that hope to
keep us safe from the pain
The space between
Where you smile and hide
That’s where you’ll find me if I get to

The space between
The bullets in our fire fight
Is where I’ll be hiding waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splashed in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into
your room

The space between
Our wicked lies is
The hope to keep safe from pain

Take my hand
Cause we’re walking out of here
Right out of here
Is all we need dear

The space between
What’s wrong and right
Is where you’ll find me hiding
Waiting for you

The space between
Your heart and mind
Is the space we’ll fill with time

The space between
The tears we cry is the laughter keeps
us coming back for more
The space between
Our wicked lies where we hope to keep
safe from pain
-Dave Matthews Band

I sit here in Coe as the only staffer on Sunday the week before finals week. That group of five girls in to the right keep talking, probably trying to churn out a final project due tomorrow morning at 10:30am. They are starting to annoy me, but I don't have the guts to tell them to quite down, in all reality the are probably working on something valid, I am just in the mood where I want to rip everyone's head off that tries to come and talk to me and I feel like I am glaring at everyone who walks by. Oh well, they will get over it, and half of them won't remember who I am next fall or even this summer. I thought I saw Linus in here a couple minutes ago, was going to go say hi to him but I looked back and he wasn't there, did I imagine him, am I really that sleep deprived? I don't think so, though everything is still surreal I feel I don't belong back in Laramie yet, I am not ready for the daily routine of work and school, the many papers to be turned out and the talking with teachers to see what I need to do, with what I missed last week. I was glad we didn't have boomerangs this morning, I desparatly needed the sleep, even though there wasn't much to be had. Surveys and quota increases suck ass, put money on their account unlock the cabniet put the money in and do it all over again in 2 minutes.
I started this at 12:15 and it is now 2, one hour left and the lab is too full for just one staffer. My hair is getting long now and I am debating whether or not to shave it again. Maybe while it is still this short I will checker board it this time, or maybe just let it grow and not dye it. (Yes, I know Jim you dye Easter eggs, and color hair, some day I'll get it down.) It is funny and annoying when users don't realize they can't print to the image document you have to print to the printer, gee imagine that. That guy was really tall, quite a bit taller than even Clay. Before I start babbling any more incoherently I will say good-day and leave you all with a link my dad sent me it is well, as most things my dad sends me interesting. Shop Horror: British Shop Names (puntastic for all our punny people out there)

Monday, April 11, 2005

Blogger ate my Blog

So, upon helping Christin paste links into her template we discovered that my blog, was getting the file not found error. I found this quite odd, although I have not done anything or checked my blog in quite a few days it should have been just fine. I logged into to blogger and it said I have no blog. So here we are. I guess one could look at this as a new beginning or some crap, really it is more just shitty. Starting over this time...hopefully this does not become a reacurring thing.