Monday, October 23, 2006

Escaping into Snow

Did you know that there is proof out there that not only birds sing love song to each other, but mice do too!

Turns out

Lab Mice sing love
songs like birds

at frequencies higher
than most wings

Does the caged mouse still sing?
Yes. Apparently.

Swamp Sparrow Songs
spun with long
pink tails

red beady eyes
longing wantonly

long yellow teeth
grinning lasciviously

singing triply
repeated phrases

"Hey you, woman."
"I’m over here!"

Cage GC78, Row 18
Aisle 242.

It seems as though the snow is officially here until next April. With the turning of the weather decay and death seems to be on my mind more often, and I find myself reminded that we are not invincible as we all might wish to be. It is about this time of the year that I begin to get restless, with the falling leaves comes my want to be somewhere else. Not somewhere that is necessarily warmer, just somewhere else. I have escaped with Anna to Fort Collins twice in the past week. We drove down last Wednesday night to eat at the Thai Pepper which was sort of in celebration of our one month, and our excuse last night was to look at Halloween costumes which took a detour to Indian food. I am worried about a lot of things right now, and kind of sad. We were talking last night over dinner about places we were going to go visit and I said “When I am in London in the spring…” and realized oh yeah, crap I am not going this spring. School is interesting this semester, but I have come to learn especially this month, that even if I am stressed just push through it and I’ll come out on the other side. So for now I am going to go push through mid-terms and I will see you all on the other side of next week.

May you find solace in the gentle arms of sleep
Despite the wolves outside your door
In time you will see them all as harmless
And their idle threats easy to ignore

And if ever fate should choose to smite you
Stand your ground, never walk away
Please don't ever let the world defeat you
Don't get buried in its decay

As you drift into the gauzy realm of dreams
May you take comfort in the thought that you are safe
For it only takes a fraction of a second
For all of this to change
Lullaby by: Assemblage 23

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Because you let me dance with you.

Midterms are already here? How did that happen?
My weeks are blurring together again. Time is spent in a semi-coherent state trying to grab pieces of the world around me. I'm keeping up on school work which I have impressed myself with. For some reason that has now eluded me I agreed to work the 11pm-3am shift Sun-Wed this semester. So, I spend sleepless nights, surrounded by insomniacs, procrastinators, and foreign exchange students. I am also trying to steal moments of brilliance with her, which catches me on the wrong foot. I lose my footing with her in moments of staggering and breath taking beauty, the simple things I notice she always asks me to explain that I can’t quite put into words.
We have been dating for three weeks now, next Tuesday it will be exactly one month. She makes me smile. She loves my spastic-ness, sees through to who I am, and doesn’t let me hide behind my hats. She lets me cuddle with her while watching tv, and lets me take her on random drives to where she doesn’t know the final destination.

It has been an interesting semester so far. There has been a couple times where a few of us have wanted to hit pause and then restart from our last save point. October is now in full swing which means Spectrum is in full swing with queer awareness month. This week we have 2 events and then the homecoming parade and building the float. Next week we have Queer History Day and a singer/song writer Magdalen Hsu-Li coming in and performing. Honestly, I can’t wait for this month, to be over. We will get through it though, and it won’t be as bad as it seems right now. Remember to take time in heart stopping moments. Go and play in a pile of leaves or just crunch through them instead of staying on the sidewalk. I have found myself recently missing ones who I took for granted would be around for quite some time. Life is unexpected, that is what makes life great, but the uncertainty is also what reminds to live.

Because you are reading this.