I live in a frozen tundra, of a waste land.

It is 8:30 at night, the temperature outside is -10°. That is not including wind chill which we are in a “Wind chill Warning” until 11am tomorrow, it feels like -27° outside. I HATE the cold! It makes me lethargic, I don’t want to go outside, let alone walk to classes…and the low for tonight is -45°. My dad always talked about “That One Winter” where it was -50°, but I didn’t really believe it. My bad. I don’t have enough layers for this kind of weather, damn it.

It doesn’t help that right now I am really home sick. Not really for my parents, because that was never really home, but right now I miss my God-Mom, Mom. I smell like patchouli right now because it reminds me of her smell, I hadn’t realized that was why I felt a little better while wearing it until Gina told me that I smelled how Mom use to always smell. I miss sitting on the couch in the living room with Tessa, Tessa reading out loud and Mom sitting with Christina helping her with school. I guess I do miss my parents in some ways, I miss the few days in-between my dad’s disappearing acts where he cooked dinner, and we would have movie marathons.

It also doesn’t help that my mother called this afternoon. She wants me to fly out to Indiana in a little less than a week, my Aunt Judy passed away yesterday, and she wants me to be at the funeral. If she would buy the round-trip ticket, yes I would go. But she won’t, says she can’t. I don’t have that kind of money to spend, and I hate to say this but I met my aunt Judy and the rest of my mom’s family once before in my life. I will call my grandmother and other aunts and give my condolences and send flowers. The conversation also consisted of her still not understanding my major, a new found interest in my love life and wondering why I don’t have a boyfriend and my quick explanation of “I’m too busy for a relationship right now.”

I am going to curl up with Puppy(my stuffed ami-nal) underneath a huge pile of blankets, drink some tea, and watch Evangelion. Can’t we cancel school tomorrow?