Tuesday, March 25, 2008

When there are no words.

My voice. My voice comes and goes, and gets lost within everyone else’s. I lose the need to write, and ignore what I need to say most of the time. I could/should use this space to talk about happenings in the queer community, progress that has been made, and the setbacks we’ve faced this year. I could rant about politics and endorse who I am voting for. There are many other blogs out there that put those things into words better than I could.

I feel stuck in limbo at the moment. Waiting to hear back on things, waiting to see if relationships evolve, waiting to see what spring change is bringing for me. I hate waiting; I think we all do a lot of the time. It is in our waiting though a lot of the time, we lose sight of the present and reality around us. Enjoy the moments that waiting bring.

This weekend is the Bear to Make a Difference Dinner down in Denver. I had the opportunity to attend the dinner on “scholarship” (plates are $175) two years ago and it was amazing to be a part of a bigger change. This year I paid for my plate, and couldn’t be any more excited. Jim is a table captain and we will be joined with many great friends from the Denver area.

Spring Break has come and gone. I got caught up on sleep, and spent this past weekend down in Denver with MightyMightyM. He got his first ink done this weekend and it looks awesome! Had some wonderful Sushi and ate sooo much…to the point I don’t even wanna think about fish at the moment, and I love Sushi! This also means that we are past mid-semester barreling towards the end of the school year oh in basically a month.

I leave you all with some random thoughts:

The heavenly rock material that you have imbedded in my skin
is causing day dreams into outer space.
Your star graffiti-ed skin covering me
has left behind some star dust matter,
leaving me sprinkled with brilliant sparkles.
Twilight sunrises and the brilliance of solar rays are seen
somewhat differently through your galaxy.
I spend evenings testing the cosmos,
searching for hints of your matter left behind,
Trying to measure distance, time and space,
multiplying speeds of light and gravity,
Trying to reach my arms across the universe and galaxies
to grab on to part of your star-light,
Trying to locate you geographically, through star charts and graphs,
when gravity and alternate dimensions don’t match.

I should aim my focus to more earthly things
I need to quit star gazing for a while
keep my thoughts from wandering into other galaxies.
But part of human nature is to stare in awe
up into the sky and wonder what is out there.

So I’ll find my navigational star and protector Orion,
Follow the last traces, and known where about specks of your stardust
and trace my way from there.


Big Gay Jim said...

Brava. And thanks for speaking up.

Teh Dr. said...

Too bad you're not english, they know how to wait, lol.
I saw a pic of you in the gir hoodie and it made my heart sing. I'm so glad you like it enough to wear it. yay.

Big Gay Jim said...

Try and get it off her. She bites, I tell ya!

Squid said...

It's true! I loves it! Now if the only if the weather would cooperate with me and stop snowing! so I could wear it more often! :)

Rose said...

Another beautiful poem, makes me think and reflect. Gazing into your eyes last night made me think too...
I am glad spring break was enjoyable and I'm so happy you're going to the Shepard Dinner, I know you'll have a marvelous time.

PS *poke* link me...beotch. bloodmirror.net

miss kt said...

er teh doctor its not waiting we're good at its standing in queues that we rock at :D - we morph from impatient humans to almost zombies when we encounter one