Are you serious, I still have three hours of just sitting here? The slow creep of time today is like trying to pour crystallized honey out of the container. It might work but you are going to sit there waiting forever. Am I waiting for something? Maybe not today specifically, but in the greater sense of things yes. School starts in a week and a half, and I am waiting on issues with money. Waiting to see everyone and how their summers’ have been going. It seems like I am always waiting for something to drop, like there is this ominous ball of doom just up around the corner barely attached to where it is dangling from. For most of my life I have lived cautious and worried waiting for the next big bad news to topple over me.
I am sick of it though. I don’t want to look back in 15 years and have regrets of not doing this or missing out on that opportunity. "I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do." If I am too scared to even ask people out to coffee where am I going to get? No where. I hide behind excuses of rejection, and many other things. As a good friend told me everyone at some point in their life gets rejected, usually a lot more than that, but everyone at least once, “Yes, even Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, hell even Hugh Hefner has been turned down for Christ sake.”
So I’ll throw caution to the wind, or at least try my best. I’ll walk a little taller, eyes forward instead of looking at the ground. That way when opportunity tries to blind side me, which would knock anybody else down, I don’t miss it and keep la dee dah walking along. Take some pride in myself and trust that I don’t need to hide behind the corners. I choose to live in the front of all that is going on around me instead of hiding from life on the edges terrified of what tomorrow may bring. I won’t be so scared of life but be happy in the fact that I have some great opportunities ahead of me, although uncertain they maybe. Life is worth embracing this is the only shot we get, here and now so why not make the best of it, even if it is tough to trudge through every now and then?
Live, god damn it, live every damn day and stop being so afraid.