Rubrics For Life:

Late nights lead to.....even more late nights....and even longer days.

"God, there is only seven weeks left."
I didn't mean to looked pissed off, sad that the group..I...we have to deal with another departing of tea, folk, and....learning to live life.

Was it just me or did you hold your gaze just a moment longer so we could lock eyes? Probably just me as usual.
"She only drinks coffe at midnight, When the moment is not right Her timing is quite, unusual"

"That's great mom, instead of paying for my schooling you'll send me a present to make up for it," I say as I pick up the box that came in the mail for me. It is better than that though; they are in fact mess ups of the candle business she is now in, so not only is it a present to make up for not paying for schooling it is a broken present. A broken present to go with the vile guilt you gave to eat away at me.

Now remember what we learned last week, class, what is the one thing you do not say during the awkward moment of the evening when you are suppose to lean in and kiss her?
Doo Dee Doo Waffels

"We will kick them in the shins then they will have to give you money."

"Either that or they will throw us in jail." Great

Friday's are still days to be on campus but now the purpose for being on campus on Fridays are a bit different for the past two weeks I have been battling the great fortress known as financial aid. Ok, so it really has been longer than that, but the search for money has been kicked into high gear recently. At the beginning of the semester I went to talk to the student attorney in Knight Hall, no real luck there except we found out that there are in fact exceptions to the rule only to be granted by the Dean of Financial Aid at the school. So I gather up my tax return from this year that clearly states I file as an independent, and my parents don't claim me, think that would be enough? Nope, Financial Aid tells me that first of all they only file probably 4 appeals for independent status a year, and secondly I have to be in an extenuating circumstance; such as proving with documentation physical or mental abuse, or basically the parents have to be in jail. Next step: look into emancipation, I fully qualify for it and the easiest way to get that done would be to ask both of parents just to sign the forms basically..... Right....asking my mom for emancipation this one is going to be easy, she had an emotional breakdown over the phone, and asked me why I hated her, didn't love her, and why I was trying to destroy the family. I didn't know how to respond, and I don't have the heart to hang up on her so when she was done I said goodbye and haven't brought it up since. But that is ok I found later that night by doing some research emancipation does not guarantee independent status anyways.

"For example, a child does not automatically become a ward of the court upon being incarcerated. Likewise, emancipation does not make a student a ward of the court. Neither incarceration nor emancipation of the student is sufficient on its own to make the student independent.

Emancipation occurs when the child is no longer under the legal authority and control of another. This can occur when the child reaches the age of majority, marries, enters military service, is fully self-supporting or by court order. An emancipated child is legally an adult. Since a child who reaches the age of majority can still be considered a dependent for financial aid purposes (and self-supporting is insufficient grounds for independent student status ever since the Bright-Line test was abolished in 1992), emancipation by court order is no different. The Higher Education Act specifies who is considered a dependent for financial aid purposes, and does not include an exception for emancipation. (Emancipation is defined by state law, and as such cannot overrule Federal law.) So even though an emancipated child no longer receives financial support from his or her parents, the parents are still obligated to complete the FAFSA form. However, the circumstances that lead a court to grant an emancipation petition might themselves be sufficient grounds for a dependency override. (Note that some states (e.g., Colorado) may allow emancipation as an alternative to age requirements for eligibility for in-state tuition. So emancipation can have an impact on state aid, but not on federal aid.)"
http://www.finaid.org/educators/pj/wardofthecourt.phtml

So I am kinda stuck at square one, I just need to find someone to marry, have a kid, or join the military. None of those options are overly appealing though. Maybe I will follow Tessa's advice find scholarships for culinary school and do what I want to do. I am getting pressure from my dad now to get back into school, but what is he doing to help? Not much, besides thinking of quitting Shari's and moving to New Mexico.

Never mind that though on to happier things. It is true fall has official come to stay; at least until the snow comes to stay. There is something so old and wonderful when walking home at night through dead lives. The smell of damp old earth and the sweet crispness of the leaves lead you to believe on silent nights that the fairies are still out being mischievous.

Punk Rock, Disco, and Brechtian Punk Cabaret...

Will leave me brusied, exhausted, and happy. I have gotten roughly 9 hours of sleep since Sunday morning from a late night of too much coffee, but excellent conversation. I only slept an hour and went to work at 8 o'clock in the morning on Monday. Monday night the Fat Wreck Chords tour came through, yes, Laramie, WY!! w00t! The show had an amazing lineup - Smoke or Fire, The Epoxies, The Soviettes, and Against Me! I currently have a bruise under my left eye, my shins are black and blue, but being able to say I lost my glasses in the mosh pit, found them and did not break them makes up for it by quite a bit. Punk Rock is not necessarily about the music, not understanding half of the words, its about the scene, trying to give a damn without really giving a damn, about being able to connect with everyone at the concert on some higher plane for the duration of the show. It is about collective feeling.

Last night was an extreme change from Punk to 70's disco on roller skates. My knee is about twice its normal size because Squids really shouldn't be on rolly thingies, and it doesn't help when your friends find the ticklish spot. Instead of going to bed, like any normal person, afterward, we ate food at 2:00 in the morning, I stayed up and tried to watch a movie. Haven't had the opportunity to shut off my brain, and so I numb it with sensless entertainment.

And tonight was suppose to be another concert this time in Boulder. The Dresden Dolls are playing a show and if you have never heard of the you should definitely go check them out. But it seems that since I won't sleep with one of the people going, I make him uncomfortable. Even though we decided to be friends and were completely cool last time I saw him. Oh, well I should really use the time to sleep, but who needs it when so much caffine abounds and I can sleep when I am dead.

Poetry Slam this weekend, possibly another night of Static, and of course work (why did I decide to pick up OT this weekend when I am already exhausted?) Because I am the crazy person, it must be true. I even have a t-shirt that says it "Hooray that crazy person is here."