Its been an odd week. Can't find the right words to express how amazing Day of Silence was, it will come as a later post I promise. Its Friday, the last day of classes before finals, and for that I am very grateful, and I should come out of this semester with a 3.0 (keeping fingers crossed). Midnight rains spent on the balcony while the chill of rain runs through me. I am looking forward to summer, I acutally have a job I will enjoy. I am a lab assistant over the summer woohoo!! No more restaurants! At least for now anyways, just the other day I was thinking I should get a part time job in another restaurant just for the hell of it, I kinda miss the kitchen commrade. That is about it for now, hope finals and end of the semester stuff is going good for all of you guys.


I Don’t Know:
Cannot find the words to say I'm sorry
Don't know how to show you I was wrong

Wasted all that you had given to me

Now I'm left with nothing and no one

And I find it's my fault

I'm the only one to blame

For the tears and the pain

I don't know what I can say

Or would it matter anyway

'Cause I don't know how you could still forgive me

For all that I have put you through

Is there anything that I can do

All my life has lead to this decision

To return and ask you this one thing

And if I had one chance or if a million

Would it ever be enough for me

To explain what I've done

Now I know that I was wrong

Will you hold me again

I don't know what I can say

Or would it matter anyway

'Cause I don't know how you could still forgive me

For all that I have put you through

Is there anything that I can do

I would give my life to find your mercy

I don't know what I can say

Or would it matter anyway

~I Don’t Know, Third Day Album: Come Together

Knuckle Down

that's just my cowgirl alter-ego

riding on her bar room bull

dripping with the sweat of irony

as the cowboys whoop and drool

shooting glances at the mirror

to see if her scar is showing

she is truly going nowhere tonight

lecherous old lady wanna-be

much too young and shy

flailing her whole life

just thinking she can teach herself to fly

vehement romantic

frantic for forever right now

but forever's going nowhere tonight

sick of goading her self-loathing

she thinks, i think i'd better leave

'course whiskey makes me smarter

and i'm happy as can be

but please excuse me darlin

it's not you

it's me

and there's a dusty old dust storm on mars,

they say

so tonight you can't see it too clear

still i stood in line to look through their

telescope

looked like a distant ship light

as seen from a foggy pier

and i know that i was warned

still it was not what i hoped

yes i know that i was warned

still it was not what i hoped

i think i'm done gunnin to get closer

to some imagined bliss

i gotta knuckle down

and just be ok with this

i'm gonna knuckle down

just be ok with this

'course that star struck girl is already someone i miss

i swear some stuff you just see better from further away

and i think i communicate best now, the less i say

and i can't dance if the band can't play

and the vibe is going nowhere tonight

'cuz somewhere between Hollywood and its pretty happiness

and an anguish so infinite it's anybody's guess

is a place where people are all teachers

and this just one long class

and that ass will get you nowhere tonight

there's a dusty old dust storm on mars they say

so tonight you can't see it too clear

still i stood in line to look through their

telescope

looked like a distant ship light

as seen from a foggy pier

and i know that i was warned

still it was not what i hoped

yeah i know that i was warned

still it was not what i hoped

i think i'm done gunnin to get closer

to some imagined bliss

i gotta knuckle down

just be ok with this

gotta knuckle down

just be ok with this

'course that star struck girl

is already someone i miss

© 2005 ani difranco / righteous babe music

"We Interupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming...

To bring you an inside look into the Squid's life right now. "

Spastic flailing over here...happy dances in that corner...the doom song up the stairs and to the left...DO DE DO WAFFLES!!! in the kitchen...light fixture hanging and focusing around back... drag kings at the front door...SHHH Silence is only a day away.

Oh yeah.. Hi Guys *waves and smiles* just a quick note to let you know things are going well on my end. I have been planning and preparing for the University of Wyoming's first Day of Silence(which is tomorrow for all of you in town) We are starting off the events with Shout Out Before the Shut Up this evening, and the silence will begin tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. There will also be a silent lunch in the student union from 12-1, and then of course our Breaking The Silence rally that evening at 5. I am finally getting excited about tomorrow for the longest time I was just nervous, and still excited isn't quite the right word either. We are going to be making a huge difference tomorrow here on campus. What are you doing where you are to end the silence?

I promise a more detailed post with all sorts of goodness will be posted later but for now I am off to save something or other spasitically or probably just by mere chance before tomorrow. And also check all the little details for tomorrow.

"We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming."

12 1/2 hours and I swear you would be loopy too.

Blarg! Alarm blaring in my ear the only thought in my head was that it honestly couldn't be 8:30 in the morning already, but sure enough the morning came quickly, and rolling out of bed was the hardest thing this morning especially with a little bit of a hangover. First things first cure hangover, 2 glasses of water, 3 ibuprofen, some toast, and of course a nice hot shower.

Last night I took second at the slam, which was awesome, and the after party was of course fun. I hadn't necessarily forgotten that we had tech rehearsal today I just ignored the fact. But as 9:30 finally came around I was excited about finally helping out with my first show at the University. The Student Directed One Acts will be showing tomorrow all the way through Wednesday, and I was asked if I would run the lighting board. We got to Fine Arts this morning and I was terrified that I would some how push the wrong button and the theater would implode or something, yes I know, an irrational fear, but a fear none the less. We ran cue to cue and then tech run-throughs today, and after about 9 hours of being stuck in the lighting and sound both the tech team tends to get a little loopy I have found out. By the time we got to the end of the 6th play, the booth did a lovely serenade to all of the people in the house because we were finally done, with no huge problems. YAY!!! So tonight was ended with the post-show music playing while the actors tore down set, all the while the booth singing:

"When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be." ~ Let It Be, The Beatles